New Food Blog

I have reloacated my Food blog to http://simonefood.blogspot.com/

About My Internship - JUST TELL

For the last semester I have been working with Vivian Farmery with the organization she is starting up called JUST TELL. The main focus of my internship was working on the pages for the website that the young child, older children and adults will be reading. This meant that I had to write pages the provided information about options children have for who and how to tell about their sexual abuse and then go back and make sure that the language I was using was age appropriate. During this internship I also had the opportunity to go to meetings with Vivian, one of which was with a meeting with a social worker and a therapist where we shared ideas for the website with them and they gave us feedback based on their experiences and knowledge.

From this internship I learned about the process of starting a non-profit organization, the options children had and I practice skills of writing for different ages. At the end of my internship, when I sat down to talk to my supervisor about the experience I had as her intern, she told me that one of my weakness was my patience and the fact that some times there is more than one right choice and you have to wait to see which one is the best to make. I think that advice will be helpful in many different things I will do in life.

Community Project

20 interesting aspects of the community (New York City)
1. Diverse City.
2. 5 Boroughs.
3. Lots of different food.
4. Expensive living cost.
5. Starbucks on every corner.
6. Lot of drugs in the schools.
7. Neighborhoods are changing a lot.
8. There are poorer areas and richer areas.
9. Port authority.
10. Subway system.
11. Many tall buildings.
12. Central Park.
13. Lack of trees.
14. Lack of grass.
15. No stars to see.
16. Many things to do.
17. The theaters/shows to see.
18. Easy for young people to get bored.
19. Full of sexual predators.
20. Allows for young people to gain independence at a younger age (no need to drive)

3 strengths
1. Diversity.
2. Ability to do what you want. The city has everything.
3.

3 Weaknesses
1. Lack of community interaction.
2. Sexual predators and sexual abuse.
3. No nature or place to escape.

One aspect to change
Sexual abuse.

Observation/”The Problem”
The problem in sexual abuse cases is that adult men and women are abusing children. Laws are set to prevent this from happening but like drugs and other illegal things, those laws don’t keep people from sexually abusing children. It is also a problem that in the end, out of only 39% of the attacks reported, 16.3% of those rapists end up in prison, and calculating in the unreported rapes, only one out of sixteen rapists go to jail.
When looking over statistics one of the most shocking things is how many people are sexually abused. 1 out of every 5 to 7 men and 1 out of every 3 to 5 women are abused before the age of 18. That means that in a classroom of 25 students, about five of them have been sexually assaulted. And while the students that have been abused are aware of the issue, many of their peers have no idea that this is such a prevalent issue amongst their classmates. But what is most disturbing of all about these cases (children grades 5-12) is that 48% of the boys and 29% of the girls never tell a soul about what happened to them. And without telling anyone, they alone don’t have the power to stop what is going on to them.
In addition to not being able to stop the assailant, without speaking to someone about sexual abuse, victims will not be able to receive the emotional support and psychological treatment they needed to recover. No child is capable of handling the baggage of sexual abuse and the results of it are devastating, destroying many children’s lives. As a result of sexual abuse, children can develop self-esteem issues, distorted views of sex, suicidal tendencies, difficulty relating to others, and lastly, some sexually abused children become child abusers or prostitutes.

Large Goal
To create a society where children know their options and are able to tell about sexual abuse so that sexual abuse can be stopped one case at a time. Then children and teenagers that are sexually abused can get help recovering the trauma of being abused.

Smaller Goal
To help develop an organization that will give children information, options for telling, an understanding of why it’s important to tell and encouragement to tell.

Action Plans
1. Work on creating a website to provide information that will be youth appropriate.
2. Hand out information cards to students.
3. Post information about sexual abuse in different neighborhoods.

One action plan
Work on creating a website to provide information that will be youth appropriate.


Data
Over the past semester I have been working on creating a website that will provide information to students. First I created a draft, then I showed it to my internship supervisor, we talked about the changes and I continued to work on it. After several drafts that I worked on with my internship supervisor, I went to the Young Women’s Circle (YWC) and shared my work with them. In the meeting with YWC, the group of young teenage girls gave us feedback on the structure, words and general points made. From then I continued to work on it until the very end when I completed the drafts as much as possible.


The Pages

Welcome Page
We know it takes a lot of courage to come read this page. We are happy that you are here. The first thing you need to know is that it is not your fault. You are not responsible in any way for what has happened to you. As you continue to read this page their may be things that seem scary, and if you need to take this one step at a time it’s all right. Just remember, IT’S NEVER YOUR FAULT.

The second thing we want you to know that you don’t need to protect your abuser. In America a minor (someone that is under 18 years old) cannot consent to any sexual activity. This means that in a situation where an adult is sexually involved with a minor, the adult is breaking the law. This means that they are guilty, not you. But, in order to end the sexual abuse, you have to choose someone and JUST TELL.

JUST TELL is here to help by giving you the tools you need to stop sexual abuse. This website is designed to give you information so that you can stop your sexual abuse.

Why Tell?
The main goal of JUST TELL is to get you safe. To do that we want you to choose an adult that you trust and tell them what is happening to you. Then we can help you by giving you information about your options are for telling.

Why Tell? What is so important about telling? A lot of children and teenagers are sexually abused. And most of them by a person they know. Often, when it is someone you know, the sexual abuse goes on for a long time. We want to help you make it stop! Also, a lot of abusers molest more than one child. So it is very important to other children that we stop them.

Another reason to tell someone is that it is going to make you feel better to share what happened to you. When you tell someone you are helping yourself both physically and emotionally.

What happens if you don’t tell? If you don’t tell, the abuse is more likely to continue and there wont be anyone to help you overcome the struggles caused by sexual abuse. When people don’t tell and don’t get help they are more likely to experience difficulty later in their life. We want to make sure that you tell so you can get help to stop the pain and prevent it from causing more pain in the future.

What is Sexual Abuse?
Sexual abuse is any contact between a child and an older person that sexually arouses the older person. There are many different things that are considered sexual abuse. Here are two ways to separate sexual abuse; one is by “touching sexual abuse” and the other is “non-touching sexual abuse.”
Touching Sexual Abuse Includes:
• Touching and/or kissing a young person in a sexual or uncomfortable way
• Touching a young person’s private parts; including their vagina, breasts, penis and/or butt.
• Having a young person touch a older person’s private parts
• Sexual Intercourse between a young person and an older person.
Non-touching Sexual Abuse Includes:
• An older person showing a young person their private parts
• “Talking dirty” to a young person or making a young person “talk dirty” to an older person
• Pressuring a young person to watch or participate in erotic videos or photographs.
• Making a young person watch other adult sexual activity
The Statistics
We know that every person’s experience is different and just providing statistics doesn’t let anyone know the specific troubles of each survivor. But these statistics are helpful in giving people an overview of the problem and why it needs to stop.

How many children are sexually abused?
• 1 out of every 3 to 5 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
• 1 out of every 5 to 7 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18

What is their relationship to their abuser?
• 93% of children that are sexually abused know their abuser.
Of those,
• 59% are acquaintances (someone you know).
• 34% are family members.
• And only 7% were strangers.

Who tells? Up until now…
• About 1 out of every 3 to 4 girls never tell anyone about their sexual abuse – not even a friend or sibling.
• About 1 out of every 2 to 3 boys never tell anyone about their sexual abuse – not even a friend or sibling.

Evaluation
Though this website has not been put up yet and both my supervisor and I were frustrated at the pace at which the web site pages came together, while we were working to build the site we were also working to build the mission of the organization. While I wrote to the youth that has been abused, I was working to use the best words to give the most information.
The next step in the process of creating this website and to put it into actions is to finalize the page, to get them up on web and then to spread the word about the website so that sexual abused children can access it and get the information they need.

School Project

20 interesting aspects of our school
1. The name.
2. All the young teachers.
3. The diversity among students.
4. The mission/what the school is trying to do.
5. The classes they offer.
6. Mr. Kinory.
7. The roof garden.
8. The classes, before they were tracking students, or the classes where there is no track.
9. The fact that we need a dean of discipline.
10. 6-12.
11. Classes are made up of all the same people.
12. Not a strong community. It is just beginning to become “normal” for students to talk to student in other grades.
13. Internships are there, but the program is weak.
14. Electives suck.
15. Students don’t respect the school. There is a lot of vandalism.
16. Not as many drugs as some other schools.
17. People copy and cant do the work and then actually wonder why they aren’t passing.
18. Everyone knows everyone.
19. Mr. Berg.
20. The locker room is all the way in the basement and there are 12 floors.

3 Strengths
1. The staff is dedicated.
2. No regents.
3. Good teachers.

3 Weaknesses
1. Students don’t respect the school and the education as much as they should.
2. Bathrooms are gross and the bathroom policy is degrading to the students.
3. Policies are not considered and created as they should be.

One Aspect to change
The way policies are made.

Observations
Since I started attending school here, the policies seem to be increasing as I advance in grades. The bathroom policy was created so that all students follow the same rules in the classroom and the school is able to track the students’ moves. The lateness out-lunch/policy was created so that anyone who is late cannot go out to lunch. Many schools don’t even bother with out lunch passes or anything. The 3:10 policy was created, and student cannot reenter the building after 3:10. But there is no real way for me, as a student, to observe the policy making process because all policies are made without student’s presences, whether they are made by DeLaura alone or in the staff meeting students are locked out of.


Goal
My goal is to make it so that the policies made in the school are made by the students. I believe that if the students make the policies, they will have more inclination to respect the policies. I also think that by creating a new system that would include the students, it would have to well organized and everyone would have to come to the meetings already having spent some time deeply considering the way the policy should be. This way, there will be more student import, better thought out polices, that will allow students to be more active in the community.

Goal
My goal is to create a policy-making system that will allow students a say, force everyone to deeply consider the policies and create a more conscious community.

Action Plans
1. Start attending staff meetings, without permission.
2. Collect student opinions and ideas and give them to the policy makers.
3. Gain student support by providing information on the idea of a new policy-making system.
4. Start a new meeting that would only have students and create our own new laws/policies that we will follow.

One action plan
Take a survey to get information on students and gain student support by providing information on the idea of a new policy-making system.


Data
Survey Data:
Question: Do you think student should have a say in policies that affect them?
Responses: 93 answered “yes” and 2 answered “no.”

Question: Would you invest your time in deeply considering school policies and attending monthly meetings?
Responses: 55 answered “yes” and 40 answered “no.”

Data Analysis/Evaluation
From this data we concluded that it was worth it to create a new policy-making system and that the students were invested enough in the idea. By giving this survey, the idea of this new system was just beginning to cross the other students’ minds. But completing this survey was not effective in really creating an environment where students would think about the policies and a new policy system.

Another Step
The next thing after completing the survey was to write up the results in a proposal that would gain support and provoke ideas about a new policy-making system.


The Proposal
There are many things to be quoted from the School of the Future Family Handbook - September 2006, but for the sake of space on the page and your time, we have selected these following sections from the handbook:

From Our Vision: “Our students will graduate as lifelong learners and socially conscious participants in their communities.”

From Our Mission: “Our goal is for each child to graduate from the School of the Future with a sense of social and academic responsibility that will allow them to pursue their goals. We hold students accountable for being respectful, productive, community members.”

From Our Guiding Principles: “With the choice to be a part of this community comes the responsibility to make it work every day. Staff, families, and students commit to true partnership that enables us to transform our vision statement into our daily reality.”

What we would like to see is the students taking a more active role in the school. As a part of a “school project” in Civics class students have begun to decide what they want to change about the school. As our project we want to give students the opportunity to be active in the role of making the decisions that are going to affect them. As a part of this project we completed a survey asking two questions to ninety-five of the juniors and seniors. The first was, “Do you think students should have a say in policies that affect them?” Ninety-three students answered, “yes” and two answered “no.” The second question we asked was, “Would you invest your time in deeply considering school policies and attending monthly meetings?” This time fifty-five answered, “yes” and forty answered, “no.” What we wanted to find out was whether it was worth it for us to try to create a policy-making system where students would be able to have a say. Since it is worth it for the students, and worth it for the school’s vision, mission and principles, we have a proposal to make.

We propose that the students and staff meet together to establish policies. We believe that instead of the policies all being made by Ms. DeLaura and the teachers during staff meetings, that the policies are made in a new meeting environment with both students and teachers. This could mean opening up staff meetings for the first 30 minutes (before the confidential issues are discussed), meeting after school or taking one advisory period a month where students and teachers come together to have town hall like meeting.

The purpose of this proposal is to give student the opportunity to act as socially conscious participants and productive partners in the SOF community. Another benefit of the meetings we are proposing is that both student and teachers alike would be bringing more thoughtful, well prepared ideas and arguments forward before a policy is made.

Please think about the idea, consider the ways it can work, so that we can come together to better meet the vision and mission of our school. We are open to the students’ and teachers’ ideas on how this should be run, so please share them with us. We want to make sure this is done to the benefit everyone and represents what the community wants in its policy-making system.

Thanks,
Simone Lackey and Anna Sears

Evaluation
The proposal written was successful so far in that the people that have read it liked the idea, and even so much as wanted to keep a copy of the proposal when I asked for it back. But the proposal was not successful in completing my project because there is not yet a new policy-making system. The next step in completing the project is to continue to pass out the proposal and gain even more support, especially amongst the teachers. Then, a meeting needs to be held to discuss the different ways to actually hold the policy-making meetings.

Household Project

20 interesting aspects of my household
1. My apartment is both my house and my parents’ office.
2. There is a view of Port Authority from my kitchen.
3. I have my own room.
4. My sister goes to boarding school.
5. My Dad’s friend lives with us.
6. My family love change, we re-arrange the house often.
7. Everything is very open except my bedroom, my sister’s bedroom and the bathrooms.
8. My parents work a lot because their office is in our home.
9. We have a dog that takes 3+ hours out of the day to be taken care of.
10. My parents are getting into feng shui.
11. There are lots of books in my house.
12. My family is close considering how little time we spend together.
13. My house remains pretty quiet and clean without my sister.
14. We watch TV together. We watch too much TV.
15. Pretty much everyone does laundry. I do my own. My mother mostly does her and my father’s laundry. Sometimes my father helps.
16. Everyone cooks and cleans. My father cooks the least.
17. Health matters.
18. My father and my mother are very different. My father likes to talk about ideas and art. My mother likes to talk about horses.
19. My sister and I look just like our parents. We almost look like twins.
20. Both my parents are very capable of doing things (like work around the house).

Three Strengths
1. Closeness and openness amongst the family.
2. Supportive environment.
3. Comfortable environment, fairly laid back.

Three Weaknesses
1. Time spent together.
2. Arguments and nasty tones.
3. Equally distributed effort made to maintain household.

One Aspect to Change
Helping to contribute to the upkeep of the household.


Observation
In my household my mother is the one that loads and unloads the dishwasher and washing machine the most. She is the one that folds most of the clothes that get put in the wash and then dumped on the table. My mother and father both walk the dog. I never walk the dog because I do not claim the dog at all my responsibility. My parents are always driven to work on something but all of us feel and act lazy in the evening. Even though my mother is the one who cooks and cleans the most, my father work extremely hard in the office and spend a lot of time stressing over work. When my sister did live with us she was very unhelpful and refused to do any chores. Now when she comes home she contributes a lot to helping us clean up. It seems to be a pattern that things will get cleaned up when someone decided to do a major cleaning and then the mess will slowly build back up. The kitchen is the place where the most obvious mess is made but things quickly build up in drawers and become cluttered.

Large Goal
My larger goal is to be a more active member in my household. I want to be one of the family members that does help to keep the household clean and running. My parents work hard and don’t make too much of a mess. Having kids makes it so that stuff accumulates more in our house. And when things come out they often stay out until my mother or father has to ask me or my sister to put away the stuff. I want to make it easier on their part by doing more to help out, so they don’t have to ask me to do things, they will just get done.

My goal is to accomplish household tasks without anyone asking me to in order to make my parents’ lives easier.

Four Action Plans
1. Put away everything I take out.
2. When I see something out, whether it’s mine or my parents’, put it away properly.
3. Clean the kitchen when it’s a mess because that is the main place to get messy and take care of my own laundry.
4. Hunt out tasks that my parents would have to do and complete them myself.

The One Action Plan & The Criteria
The action plan is to clean the kitchen because that is the main place to get messy and take care of my own laundry. The way I will measure my success is by creating a cart that uses a point system to calculate my actions. Half a point will be rewarded for every time my mother or father asks me to clean the kitchen or fold my laundry and I do it; half a point will be deducted every time my mother or father asks me to clean something and I decide to not clean it or I see an opportunity but do not clean it and one point will be rewarded for every time I clean something in a shared space (not my room or closet) without someone asking. Any tidying up but not really cleaning will be awarded half a point. To really accomplish my goal/plan I am setting the standard to gain 2½ points per day.


Data
Day One
Tidied up the bathroom as I was getting ready for school. Throwing out pieces of tissue and such that had accumulated on the counter, hiding hair accessories in the drawer and put away any bottles in the cupboard. (½ point)
When I came home and made some food. There was a mess on the counter that my parents left from when they made lunch. I cleaned up my mess but did not clean up theirs. (-½ point)
After dinner I cleared the plates from the table and put them in the sink but I didn’t bother to put them away in the dishwasher. (½ point)
Day One Total Points: ½

Day Two
When I came home from school and made food I cleaned up after myself. (½ point)
After dinner I cleared the plates and when my mother asked me to unload the dishwasher I did that and loaded it, even though she said she would if I unloaded it. (1 point)
Day Two Total Points: 1½

Day Three
I made breakfast and packed a lunch and I cleaned up after myself when I was done. (½ point)
Before dinner I cleaned my room and my bathroom, which included the dirty work like scrubbing the toilet and the bathtub, washing the sinks and the counter. (1 point)
After dinner I made myself a cup of tea and went to watch TV. I didn’t clean up anything. (-½ point)
Day Three Total Points: 1

Day Four
When I came home there was some food laying out in the kitchen. I put it away. (½ point)
When my friends were over we all made bagels. When we were done I cleaned up after all of us. (½ point)
For dinner I made myself a sandwich, and I put all the food away. My father came and made one and while he was eating, I put away all the food he just left out. (1 point)
Day Four Total Points: 2

Data Analysis
For the four day that I recorded my data, I did not reach the goal I had set for myself, which was to gain 2½ points per day. I did manage to collect some point though. On the first day I made some effort to keep things tidy but I was sort of lazy about going out of my way to help benefit the household and my parents, rather than myself. I also didn’t gain many points (½ point) because I didn’t really help very much, especially compared to the work my mother probably had to do. On the second day I made a bigger effort to help out cleaning up after dinner, which gave my parents a chance to relax and watch me clean. On the third day I was feeling tired after dinner and decided to skip out on cleaning up, which is something I expected considering that is a habit that I have become used to. On day four I was more helpful. It didn’t take much effort to clean up after a couple people made bagels and it also wasn’t hard to put away the left out food from my father. Because there wasn’t a big dinner either, there was not much of a mess.
So even though I didn’t collect 2½ points on any day, I was still successful in helping out the household in some way.

The Next Steps
If I were to continue the cycle over again I would consider focusing and working harder on collection data and working to change something. While in this time I did do some things, there is a lot more that can be done to help out my parents. I might also challenge myself further by considering a goal that included more tasks than just cleaning the kitchen.

Self Project

Twenty-five Interesting Aspects of Myself
1. I love ceramics.
2. I prefer the outdoors, but not in New York City.
3. I get angry about things I wish I didn’t.
4. I am a cat person.
5. I prefer gold to silver.
6. I like earth tones.
7. I love rocks, especially when they are wet.
8. I like having plants inside.
9. I get cold easily.
10. I like sleeping with as many blankets as possible.
11. I am more like my father than my mother.
12. I am closer with my mother than my father.
13. My fingers on my left hand are skinnier.
14. I don’t like turtlenecks.
15. I am extremely emotional.
16. I don’t really know my heritage.
17. I have no cousins.
18. I think horses are one of the most beautiful animals.
19. I like old Volvos.
20. I get excited about seasons before they come but tire of them quickly.
21. I have a pear shaped body.
22. I’ve never broken a bone.
23. I don’t believe in god.
24. I contact to be meaningful.
25. I like being barefoot.

Three Strengths
1. My focus.
2. Interacting in new situations.
3. Observing what is going on around me.

Three Weaknesses
1. My patients.
2. Getting upset over unimportant things.
3. Isolating myself and worrying about happiness.

One Aspect to Change
Getting upset over unimportant things.

Observation
I get upset over all sorts of things that are out of my control and are not going to change if I get upset. There is a difference in getting upset because some has done something that deserves to be considered in such a way that someone’s anger might change that situation and getting upset over something that it is in the past and that getting angry over it wont change anything. For example, when people do things that disrupt plans, getting upset over their lateness wont change the fact that they were late. The best thing in that case would be to move on. Part of not getting upset about things has to involve figuring out how important matters are.

My Goal – One Paragraph
My goal in this self-project is to avoid getting upset or aggravated over unimportant things. I hope to develop a way of making distinct and rational decisions about what is worth getting upset about and what is not. Aside from having the problem of getting upset over unimportant things on a frequent basis, I hope to not feel so bad in the end. Each time I get upset, I then have a moment where I beat myself up for getting upset in the first place, in turn I just feel even worse. I want to become a calmer person, who doesn’t allow other people actions to impact my emotions.

My Goal – One Sentence
My goal is to develop a way to allow myself to remain calm and not let other peoples minor actions affect my emotions.

Four Actions Plans
1. Find things to do so I have an alternative thing to do, rather than let other people’s agendas impact my own.
2. Think about what upsets me, take a deep breath, and find a positive alternative for each upsetting aspect.
3. Don’t anticipate getting upset, wait for it to happen and then address the issue.
4. Think about why I am upset and express it concisely.

One Action Plan
Don’t anticipate anything, when a situation comes that would upset me take a deep breath, think about why it is upsetting, express my emotions concisely, and then let the issue go. Reminder: You can’t change the past; dwelling on it does nothing to help you.

Results
My results are subjective and really only base on how I feel about getting upset. I think there were several situation in which I would have considered myself following an alternative plan to my usual to avoid getting upset, and would count those as successful actions. On the other hand, I was not completely successful; my peers could definitely argue that I did get upset at times.

Specific Examples:

Example One: Rather than come home and pressure my mother to cook dinner when I was hungry, like I usually would and the proceed to get upset when I got hungrier waiting for dinner, I decided that I wouldn’t bother my mother, I would make dinner myself. When dinner was done, no one was home to eat it so I sat down by myself and began to eat, rather than getting upset that no one was there when I was ready to eat. When Later, when my mother made a big deal about me making dinner, rather than tell her it was irritating, I said nothing, and sure enough the moment passed and she stopped making such a big deal.

While I consider thing a situation that could have gone either way, and I avoided getting annoyed or upset several times in the evening I don’t think it was truly following my action plan. In no case did I express myself; instead I just refrained from saying anything.

Example Two: This weekend when I had an argument with a friend about their actions one night, they took it to mean something more than it was and the following morning asked me if we were having bigger issues. My interpretation of the situation the night before was that it was just a minor disagreement, and I wasn’t comfortable with this person taking it to mean something much bigger. I expressed myself, telling them that I felt upset about them feeling this way, that what they thought wasn’t true. I wasn’t sure how much they considered what I had said and I didn’t feel assure that they were happy with where we stood in terms of having a problem or not. At this point I has expressed myself but wasn’t sure how to move on without that other person moving on. That is what I feel I truly failed because that was the point in which I shut down and got more upset. Eventually the feelings of disappoint dissipated, but I know that I could have moved on better, and taken more action to not have spent a good potion of time worrying about a non-existent problem.

Example Three: On Friday afternoon, I had hoped to meet up with someone after school but our plans didn’t fall in sync with each other’s. Instead of getting impatient and upset, I took the time to do something I wanted to do for myself. The time passed and soon enough we ended up meeting up, and I accomplished something while finding some time to myself.

Again, in this situation I avoided feeling bad in a situation where I could have but I didn’t use my intended plan of action, I didn’t express myself.

Evaluation
I think that overall my action plan was unsuccessful. When I tried to apply it to my daily life, the specific plan I had made didn’t really work out. In my case, there were many situations where I realized that there were alternatives that I could decide to opt instead of taking something to the point where I get upset and express my feelings. I also think that I made a plan that was specific to one sort of situation where I find myself getting upset and drastic about a problem but that I my plan didn’t cater to smaller issues, which is what I was really trying to target when I decided to change something about myself.

In the future, I think that I should have one main goal and multiple plans of actions that would cater to a variety of different issues I find myself facing. Instead of always expressing myself, I think I should first work on going back and defining what is worth expressing and what isn’t. I think in many cases I would not find it necessary to express anything and that would save me some hassle. Another problem I realized when I found myself expressing some of my emotion, was that there is a bigger problem that often leads me to be unhappy and get upset. But if I were to take on worrying about that I think that addressing the bigger problems in my life would require that to be the goal, and rather than worrying about not getting upset I could focus on finding a way to solve major issues that lead me to being unhappy, which lead me to getting upset more often.

As a result of this self-project, I think I will continue to work on not getting upset about things and simultaneously work on another action plan to address and attack some of the bigger things that are bothering me in my life. I think that my next goal would be to find more happiness, which will cure a lot of the smaller issues I had. It only took trying to solve my smaller issues to realize that there are bigger ones that need to come first.

Friday In America

I was walking home, west off of Seventh Avenue, on Thirty-eighth Street from the subway. I was just approaching the corner when I noticed a man that looked like he was so drunk he was stumbling to the floor. I though, I see drunk people on many nights, but it's a guarantee that on Friday night the corner deli will be filled with people buying beer, and into the early morning there will still be men buying beers for each other. All these workingmen work all week so that on Friday they can drink their pay check.Here was a great example of where that hard workingman ended up. I got closer and noticed that there was a police officer standing above him. I got closer and the first thing to jump to my attention was the position this man was in. When I saw him from a slight distance he appeared to be stumbling down and trying to get back up. Once closer it was clear that this man was down and trying to get up. His thighs were touching and both his thighs and calves were pressed down against the pavement, in the shape of a “w.” In my experience, it is only the young, flexible children that are able to sit comfortably in this position. Seeing this older man, who looked like he could be a skinnier version of what my father will look like in 20 years, I thought that this was not right, he shouldn't be sitting like this. This man appeared to have no control over his legs, reminding me of a cat's death, caused by blood clots paralyzing his leg. I heard the police officer say as he looked down at the man, "You shouldn't have drunk so much you can't even stand up. No, don't get up, if you get up you will just fall back down and crack your head open. Get back down and wait for the paramedics." Then he looked up again towards the street, never expressing one wrinkle of thought or emotion, it was more like watching a robot raise his head than a human being. I looked at the man and then up, I tried to stare into the eyes of the police officer and possibly communicate that he should have some compassion for this man. I wanted him to understand that it was not this man's fault, but rather the fact that he is the victim of a society that drives men to find themselves drunk on street corners. The police officer didn't get it; he continued to stare forward into the street. This was Friday night in New York City, which meant for this older, unhappy man that he got to drink to the point of not being able to feel, and for the police officer, that he had to spend his Friday night patrolling the streets as a myrmidon, emotionless.

Activism, Terrorism or War?

Last week on the primer of Law and Order SVU the detectives were lead to an investigation of environmental activists through an unrelated rape. In this episode one of the characters from a previous episode came back, an FBI agent names Star. Her relation to the rape was that the rape victim was an activist in an environmental and animal rights group that was giving inside information to the FBI. Through a string of events, what ended up happening was that detective Olivia Benson went undercover with the victim to a building that housed some big corporation that was harming the environment. After everyone had left the building, the activist planned to bomb the building. They were unsuccessful because the FBI and police were involved and were able to intervene before anything was blown up. What ended up happening was the victim, who was the environmentalist leak to the FBI decided she was really going to go through with the bombing of the building. As her and Olivia were upstairs alone, Star came in. When the environmentalist with the bomb tried to set it off she was killed by Star. In the end of the episode Olivia was able to infiltrate into the organization and follow one of the leaders out into the Midwest. Throughout the episode Star begins to educate the members of SVU on the goings on of the environmental terrorist, how they burned down house and ski resorts, set animals loose and bombed animal testing centers. Star made it clear that these environmental terrorists were a priority to the FBI.

A few days later I was telling Andy about this episode and he was encouraging of these environmentalist that were doing things considered to be terrorism. He questioned me about the perspective of the TV show, assuming that the creators had made the environmentalists seem more like heroic activist rather than terrorists but that wasn't the case. The perspective was not encouraging to the activist/terrorist, and as can be expected from the creators of Law and Order, was encouraging and in favor to the law and the FBI. As an avid watcher and lover of Law and Order, I often consider the matters deeply but often find myself agreeing with many of the arguments that the police and DAs make. For some reason, after my conversation I felt the need to place myself on a side: for or against the "eco-terrorists"/"environmentalists." And for the first time, I felt like I didn't know what the line was between activists and terrorists.

I felt that again when I was watching the documentary Why We Fight, there was a clip that quoted Bush said something after 9/11 pertaining to the acts of al Qaeda against the World Trade Center. It was something along the lines of, "this is more than an act of terror, it's an act of war." I think this is an even harder thing to decide, whether or not something is an act of terrorism or an act of war. When we did nothing to Afghanistan, they attacked us, but when Iraq did nothing to us, we attack Iraq. What we are fighting against in Afghanistan and in Iraq is terrorism and weapons of mass destruction, and we are using terrorism as our means of fighting. They are terrorist but so are we.

When I was thinking about defining the line between terrorism and war the words "war on terrorism" popped into my head. We may be fighting for freedom and democracy and oil but we are also, without a doubt, in the eye of the public, fighting a war on terrorism. It is, after all, the US response to 9/11. And after I thoughts the words, "war on terror," the words, "war on drugs" popped into my head. In the movie Traffic, Michael Douglass' character is an Ohio Supreme Court Judge and the newly appointed US Drug Czar, he is addressing the public on what he is going to do to cut down drugs after he has given some statistics on drug production, distribution and use. He uses the term "war on drugs" and for some reason those words stuck with me. Same as when I head the characters on Law and Order refer to their jobs as fighting the "war on crime". I think what is so significant to these phrases, "war on terror," "war on drugs," "war on crime," is that who ever is calling these wars is using the term in what I believe is an inappropriate manner.

And I think that has something to do with why our country is so quick to jump up to the plate and start a war. It seems to be our solution to all problems. Police are the soldiers on our streets, there to defend the civilians, paid by the government, these protectors of the people are sent out to fight a war on crime, which essentially is a war against the people. They appoint many officials to regulate schools, investigate trafficking of drug, to figure ways to abolish drugs, and to rid people's fear of them not doing anything to actually reduce the harmful aspects of drugs in society. Unfortunately, the drugs are still infiltrating into our cities and there still seems to be a "war on drugs" to fight. And lastly, the "war on terror," pinpoints and example of how terrorism is used to fight terrorist; war is a terrifying as it gets.

So then what defines the line between activism, terrorism and war? First, I think it is important to understand what defines activism, terrorism and war before a line can be defined between each of them. By definition, activism is the doctrine or practice of vigorous action or involvement as a means of achieving political or other goals, sometimes by demonstrations, protests, etc. Terrorism is the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes. And war is a conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air. Activism is the doctrine or practice of vigorous action or involvement as a means of achieving political or other goals, sometimes by demonstrations, protests, etc. If you look simply at the definitions, I think it is easier to pull out activism form terrorism and war because it does not implicate that violence is used in activism. The only thing that separates activism and terrorism is performance. Then, the only difference between war and terrorism is that the definition of war states that it is an act carried out between two parties. In their acts of war, each side if performing the same act of a terrorist.

In conclusion, there really is no line between activism and terrorism and there is no line between terrorism and war. The only way to separate one from the other is to determine the weight each holds in moral settings. If I were to weight activism, terrorism and war against one and other to see which one I though had higher moral standards I would have to say that I think activists hold the most values that originate from morals, then terrorism, because terrorism is activism taken to the next level. I would rank war last as possessing the least morals. I think war is a last resort and because I think wars never accomplish enough good to justify the damage done.